


Imaginary Love Life

by TwilightSiren



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Crying, Falling In Love, Friendship/Love, I Made Myself Cry, Love, M/M, Online Dating, Online Romance, Sad Ending, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-20 06:41:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30000831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TwilightSiren/pseuds/TwilightSiren
Summary: Jihoon wasn't expecting anything much when he started thisBut, he found himself getting more and more attached as time went onIt wouldn't have been a problem if it was real, but as this whole charade continues, Jihoon knows that his relationship is fake
Relationships: Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Lee Jihoon | Woozi, Jeon Wonwoo/Kim Mingyu
Kudos: 6





	Imaginary Love Life

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I am back with another one-shot. Usually, when I write romance one-shots, I have a ship that I'm really into and then I develop a story around it. This one wasn't like that. I came up with this story first and couldn't decide which ship to make it. I was between two ships and the one I ended up going with is Jicheol. I only wrote like two other one-shots of this ship and both were sort of sad. This one isn't that much different from the first two, but it is a lot more angsty and less romancy. There's a lot going on here and it is going to be a wild ride. I don't want to go too much in depth about what's going to happen and such, so that's pretty much all I have to say. I hope you enjoy it.
> 
> Also, this is crossposted on my Wattpad, so give it some love there as well
> 
> Dedicated to my own imaginary lover, wherever you may be

5 years ago

Jihoon didn't know what to say or think when Wonwoo told him that he had a boyfriend. Wonwoo was his childhood best friend and one of those people that gave you this person is never going to date sort of vibe. That's why Jihoon was pretty surprised when Wonwoo told him the good news. For that reason and the fact that Jeon Wonwoo managed to snag himself some hot guy before him. He wasn't bitter. Just a bit doubtful. "Congrats..." Jihoon murmured.

"You don't sound happy for me," Wonwoo said.

"I am," Jihoon stated, "I'm just trying to process the fact that my best friend is in a relationship." 

Wonwoo smiled, "Me too..."

"How did it even happen?" Jihoon asked. The two are seated at a table within their favorite cafe which is fairly empty considering it was the middle of the afternoon. "We work together," Wonwoo answered, "There was this chemistry the second we met..."

Jihoon sipped his drink and nods his head, "What's his name?"

"Kim Mingyu," Wonwoo said, "And...he has a friend that works at our company. He's super nice and he's pretty strong. He's a year older than us. You would love him."

"That's nice...." Jihoon muttered.

"It's more than just nice," Wonwoo said in an excited tone, "It's great. It just so happens that he is also interested in you!"

Jihoon's eyebrows furrowed in confusion, "Me? He doesn't even know me."

"He never met you, but he knows you pretty well considering how much I talk about my best friend at work," Wonwoo stated.

Jihoon groaned, "You talk about me."

"Of course! I even have pictures of us from our vacation last year," Wonwoo said, "I showed them to everyone in the company." Jihoon signed and did his best to not yell at his friend for doing such a thing. He knew deep down that it's just cause Wonwoo has always valued their friendship. Wonwoo never had a significant other to show off, so Jihoon was the next best thing. "Seungcheol is pretty whipped already. Oh! That's the name of Mingyu's friend. Seungcheol. Choi Seungcheol," Wonwoo said in a chirpy tone, "I was thinking of setting you two up."

"I don't know..." Jihoon said in a wary tone.

"Trust me!" Wonwoo said, "I would never even suggest it if I didn't think he would be a good fit for you." 

"I still don't think..." Jihoon muttered.

"How about just getting to know him then?" Wonwoo questioned, "I'll give him my phone and he can text you. You two can talk and see if you hit it off or not."

Jihoon frowned, "Wait...why would he use your phone to talk to me? If I wanted to get to know him wouldn't you just give me his number?"

"Does that mean you're interested?" Wonwoo asked. 

"I never said that," Jihoon stated, "I'm just curious as to why we would have to go through you just to talk..."

Wonwoo shrugged, "If it doesn't work out, there's no need to worry. He doesn't have your number and you don't have his."

"So, you're trying to protect us in case one of us becomes a crazy person that refuses to give up on something that isn't there?" Jihoon asked.

Wonwoo nodded, "Exactly. What do you say? Want to give it a shot?"

"No," Jihoon stated, "Can we talk about something else?" Wonwoo, although a bit bummed, didn't try to fight it. "If that's what you want..." Wonwoo said.

"It is," Jihoon said, "Thank you." 

\-------------

4 years, 8 months ago 

Jihoon meant it when he said no. There was something about the whole situation that he just didn't like. Maybe it was the fact that the guy was Wonwoo's coworker. Maybe it was the fact that he was Wonwoo's boyfriend's best friend. Maybe it was that he would have to communicate with him through Wonwoo. It was just weird. Something that sounded too complicated to even bother getting involved in. Yet, months later, Jihoon decided to take Wonwoo up on his offer. It wasn't cause he was lonely. It wasn't cause he was jealous either. He just thought of it one day and decided why not. What was the worst that could possibly happen? 

hoon is Choi Seungcheol still interested?

wonu yes...why? are u

hoon maybe

wonu that's great!

hoon first things first...if we're talking through your contact...you have to delete the messages after we talk. i don't want you to be nosy and see what I wrote

wonu fine by me. I'm at work right now. Wanna talk to him?

hoon I guess

wonu k gimme a sec

wonu hi

hoon hi 

wonu I can't believe you wanted to talk to me 

hoon I can't believe it either

wonu wow....this is really happening...

hoon hold your horses, Choi Seungcheol. this...whatever this is...I'm not promising anything. I don't like you. Not yet anyway. I just want to get to know you 

wonu that's fine. I know that. But just to make it clear...I do like you

hoon u don't know me

wonu I know what Wonwoo has said about you and he said some really nice things

hoon that's cause he's my friend

wonu I'm sure everything he has said is true

hoon and that is?

wonu you're caring and independent and really creative. U don't hesitate to defend your friends and u are always by their side when the going gets tough

hoon that doesn't sound like me

wonu I beg to differ....you look just like the type person that has all those qualities

hoon ah...you've seen what I look like

wonu yeah...I have. You're cute, Jihoon. Really cute

hoon don't call me cute

wonu noted. U are though...

hoon *sigh* since u already know what I look like why don't you send a photo of yourself

wonu am I allowed to?

hoon why wouldn't you be

wonu it's just that I'm using Wonwoo's phone to text you

hoon just delete the photo and chat afterwards. Wonwoo promised me he won't be nosy

wonu oh ok then 

[image attached]

hoon wow

wonu I see that I've impressed you

hoon I don't know about that. I just didn't expect you to look like that

wonu like what?

hoon you're handsome....and I'm just bleh

wonu don't say that

hoon it's true

wonu it isn't. U are banned from saying anything bad about yourself when talking to me. Do u hear? I hate it when people put themselves down like that. Especially when they're so amazing. When you're so amazing 

wonu u still there?

hoon yeah...just trying to process all of this. U really do like me. No joke or anything

wonu I'm dead serious about my feelings 

hoon well...okay then

wonu is that okay

hoon it's fine. Just...you know I may not feel the same way even after getting to know you more

wonu I know

hoon is that okay?

wonu of course, I'm not going to force you into anything Jihoon. I want to get to know you better too

hoon okay...well I guess with that cleared up I should properly introduce myself. It's nice to meet you. I'm Lee Jihoon. I'm 20 years old and from Busan. I'm currently in college studying to become a songwriter and producer. 

wonu nice to meet you too, Jihoon. I'm Choi Seungcheol. 21 years old. Daegu born and I work as a designer in the advertising company Pledis

Jihoon lowered his phone and let out a breath. He leans back in his chair and stares at the wall in front of him. His phone buzzes again and a notification pops up onto his screen as Seungcheol sends him another text message. "This can work," Jihoon said to himself, letting out another breath and glances back down at his phone. 

\-------------

4 years, 8 months, 2 weeks ago 

Jihoon, at first, expected for this thing with Seungcheol to end in a day or two. Either he or himself would realize that them being something is just not going to work out. But, surprisingly, that never happened. Jihoon continued to speak to Seungcheol. Almost every day. Sometimes it would just be a quick message, other times they would be chatting until their phones both died. It was nice. Jihoon got to know more about Seungcheol. Learning more about the older. His favorite foods, colors, the things that bothered him and the things he loved. It brought them closer. Something that Jihoon had thought was completely impossible. The two of them just clicked for some reason. Jihoon came to even enjoy their conversations. Although he would never admit it. 

hoon Riding the line as if it would pass secret sign

wonu um ok

hoon the voice of an itchy heart in the middle of a quiet lake

wonu what lake? 

hoon relying on the light of a candle, looking for each other and looking at the lights, the shadows come together as one

wonu are you okay, hoonie?

wonu you're kind of scaring me 

hoon I know but pretend I don't know, I need today, we already know, losing control

wonu wow...do u mean that

wonu u make me lose control sometimes too, baby

hoon It's a new beginning, at this temperature, don't rush, despacito

wonu such pretty words, hoonie, just like you

hoon Set a fire in your heart, light your heart

hoon I don't need a loud sound, the sound of the clock is our metronome

wonu I don't understand what's going on but everything you're saying...it's really nice 

hoon Amor this word, amor let me breathe deeply, amor you don't need to explain

wonu love...

hoon Like the speed of the second hand, I want to keep going right now

wonu keep going baby 

hoon I close my eyes, hotter when you get closer, set a fire in your heart

wonu u have set a fire in my heart, Lee Jihoon. And by everything that you've just said...I think you feel the same

hoon okay...um...this was a song

wonu Huh?

hoon a lyric prank. I texted you lyrics of a song

wonu oh

hoon sorry...

wonu it's fine, really, it's my fault for getting my hopes up

hoon I wouldn't have sent u these lyrics if I didn't mean them

wonu you're not just saying that...are you?

hoon I am attracted to you, Cheol. I can't call it love though. Not yet at least. So don't get your hopes that high up 

wonu the fact that you are even attracted to me is like music to my ears

hoon it's not that big a deal 

wonu it is to me

hoon you're making me blush

wonu I bet u look so pretty

hoon cheollie....

wonu adorable

hoon stop it

wonu nope I like teasing u

hoon I hate u 

wonu no u don't

hoon I don't

wonu knew it. What song did you send to me anyway?

hoon oh it's an original 

wonu really? 

hoon yup. Do u like it

wonu I love it. It's smooth and alluring. Just like you. Sorry to cut this short, I have to go. Talk to you soon, hoonie 

hoon bye 

Jihoon clicked his phone off and stared at his reflection in the dark screen. He tapped at the sides of his cheeks and looked away in embarrassment, trying his best to make the bright blush in his face fade away. He shaked his head and fanned himself using his hand. Jihoon shaked his head, scolding himself for acting like a teenager. "What are you doing to me, Choi Seungcheol?" Jihoon asked himself. 

\-------------

4 years, 6 months ago 

As much as Jihoon is enjoying what he and Seungcheol have, he couldn't help but find it a bit off. They've been speaking to each other for a couple months now and Seungcheol hasn't mentioned anything about wanting to meet face to face. Jihoon doesn't mind what they have. He really doesn't. But, he would like to meet Seungcheol face to face one day. Maybe talk to each other through their own numbers and not have to do literally everything through their middle man, Jeon Wonwoo. 

hoon thanks for the necklace 

wonu Wonwoo got it to you okay

hoon yeah, handed it to me during lunch today

wonu that's good. Do u like it?

hoon i do, it's pretty

wonu I know u said that u don't usually wear necklaces and stuff but when I saw it I just couldn't hesitate to buy it for you

hoon I appreciate it. Thank you

wonu you're welcome

hoon can I call you

wonu um...I'm not in a quiet location 

hoon that's fine. I just want to hear your voice

wonu I don't know

hoon come on. We've been texting for months. Can't we talk over the phone

[hoon is calling]

[wonu has rejected call]

hoon Cheol

wonu I can't hoon

hoon why

wonu it just isn't a good time

hoon when will it be

wonu I don't know

hoon don't you ever want to meet me

wonu of course I do

hoon are you free this weekend

wonu not yet, hoon

hoon what do you mean not yet? Are you avoiding me

wonu no!

hoon then why don't you want to meet up in real life. Why won't you pick up my calls. How come I can never see you or hear you

wonu u know what I look like

hoon for all I know that could just be some photo from the internet

hoon Cheol? 

hoon hello?

hoon are you there?

hoon I can't believe this

hoon if you're doing this to try to make me feel bad for accusing u of cat fishing it isn't going to work. You're the one that says you've liked me since the beginning. If u really did you wouldn't avoid me like this. U can't expect me to just keep doing this for years. If you want something with me...if you want something from us u need to realize that hiding from me is stupid

hoon unless u have something to hide

\-------------

4 years, 5 months ago 

"He didn't respond?" Soonyoung asked

"Nope," Jihoon sighed, "The next time we texted he didn't even mention it. I doubt he'll bring it up when he gets back from that business trip either..."

"That's weird," Soonyoung said. The two were walking side by side down the sidewalk along Han River, talking about the oddness of this set up of sorts between Jihoon and Seungcheol. "Tell me about it," Jihoon said, shaking his head.

"Almost as weird as the news about Wonwoo getting a boyfriend..." Soonyoung murmured under his breath, "He's my friend. I love him to death and I'm happy for him but the fact he's dating is just odd. We've known him for so long and he's the last person that I thought would ever be the first of us to have a boyfriend." 

"It's like you read my mind..." Jihoon said.

"I thought it was a joke at first," Soonyoung admitted.

"Me too," Jihoon said, "But that was before I spoke to Seungcheol..." Soonyoung hummed under his breath and nodded his head before his eyes became wide circles as something dawned on him. "What is it?" Jihoon questioned.

"What if it's all fake?" Soonyoung said as if he made the discovery of a lifetime.

"Huh?" Jihoon said, completely confused.

"They're not real! Wonwoo's boyfriend! Your not so boyfriend! They don't exist! That would explain why someone like Wonwoo was able to snag a dude and why Seungcheol is acting so weird!" Soonyoung exclaimed.

"You lost me," Jihoon stated.

"Wonwoo made it up. All of it," Soonyoung explained, "Sort of like an imaginary friend. Wonwoo wanted a boyfriend and he wasn't going to get one so he created this fake one and is pretending he actually is real!"

"So...Kim Mingyu...doesn't exist," Jihoon murmured, "He's just this figment of Wonwoo's imagination."

"Exactly!" Soonyoung said, "Which means Seungcheol doesn't exist either..."

"Then, who have I been texting for the past couple months?" Jihoon asked.

"Wonwoo," Soonyoung answered simply. 

"Wonwoo?" Jihoon questioned.

Soonyoung nodded, "He didn't want to be the only one to have an imaginary boyfriend, so he reached out to you and said he would set you up. Next thing you know...you're talking to Seungcheol, except Seungcheol isn't real. I mean it adds up! You've been talking to him for months through Wonwoo's contact. "Seungcheol" doesn't pick up your calls and he's only ever sent you one picture of himself. He doesn't seem to want to meet up with you and he won't give you his actual number." Jihoon stared at Soonyoung with a blank look on his face, not knowing what to say or what to think. Soonyoung's idea makes sense, but it can't be possible. Seungcheol isn't fake. He can't be. Everything felt so real. Was it not real? "That...that's ridiculous," Jihoon stuttered, "Wonwoo would never do such a thing. He's my friend. He wouldn't create this imaginary guy like that. He wouldn't toy with my emotions and make me fall for a person that isn't real. He wouldn't do that. You're just creating this silly story cause you can't explain why Wonwoo got a boyfriend and you're still single!"

"Ouch," Soonyoung huffed, "I was just trying to be helpful..."

"I know," Jihoon sighed, "I'm sorry I snapped like that. It's just...it's really not possible. It sounds like some drama show or fiction novel or something like that..."

"Yeah," Soonyoung said, "It is kinda out there. This is real life after all. Things like that don't really happen." Jihoon nodded his head in agreement and pursed his lips together, pushing past the panic that was rising in his gut. 

\-------------

4 years, 5 months, 1 week ago

Jihoon decided to see Soonyoung's story as completely fiction. It was too unrealistic and this is real life. Seungcheol was real life. Their conversations were real. The emotions were real. Jihoon would have known if he were talking to his best friend and not some other person. That was why he ignored the conversation he had with Soonyoung. That is until his tiger-loving friend's story became a bit too real. 

wonu it's cheol

hoon hey

wonu hey

hoon u back from your trip?

wonu sort of

hoon what does that mean

wonu we haven't left yet, wonwoo's flight back is tonight

hoon when is yours?

wonu i'm actually staying

hoon why

wonu just some business to take care of

hoon okay...that's super vague

wonu i know

hoon why do i feel like you're hiding something from me

wonu i would never

hoon sure...

hoon i'm guessing since wonwoo is coming back home and you're staying in jeju that i won't be able to text u often

wonu yeah

hoon that's too bad...i'm gonna miss u

wonu i'm going to miss u too

hoon we could still talk if u gave me your actual number

wonu yeah...

hoon so are u going to give it to me

wonu i don't know

hoon nothing will change except we can chat more often since we'll be using your number and not wonwoo's to text

wonu i know

hoon then give me your number. I like this thing we have...whatever it is...

wonu i like it too but...

hoon but?

wonu nothing

hoon do you think i'm stupid choi seungcheol

wonu no...

hoon then what aren't u telling me

wonu fine...i'm just going to come out and say it

hoon please do

wonu i think we should stop doing this

hoon excuse me

wonu we should stop talking to each other

hoon why

hoon do you not like what we have

hoon do you not like me anymore

wonu no, no, no...i still really care about you hoonie

hoon then why 

wonu i won't be coming back to seoul for a long time

hoon okay...

wonu i may never come back

hoon what?

wonu both mingyu and i are staying to deal with some family issues

hoon family issues? I don't want to pry but...

wonu its fine...gyu is talking to wonwoo about it in a separate room right now 

hoon is mingyu breaking up with wonwoo

wonu yes

hoon shit...this is serious

wonu it is

hoon should i be worried

wonu i'd rather you not be

hoon kinda hard not to be

wonu that's why i want this thing to end. For your sake

hoon what's going on

wonu my uncle and mingyu's uncle just passed away

hoon i'm so sorry 

wonu not as sorry as i am

hoon ???

wonu they were involved in some bad stuff

hoon like gangs?

wonu like the mafia

hoon oh

wonu gyu and i...we have to join

hoon excuse me!?

wonu our uncles got themselves in a really big mess. We have to clean it up for them

hoon why you?

wonu it has to be me. There's no one else in my family. That's why we should stop talking. It's all for your own safety

hoon you have got to be joking right now

wonu i wish i was jihoon, but i'm not. I'm going to be surrounded by dangerous people all the time now. I can get hurt...really hurt

hoon i hate u

wonu u should. Better yet just forget about me 

hoon how stupid are u

hoon i'm not going to forget about u

wonu what if i die

wonu u would be in so much pain

hoon i'm in pain now

hoon i'm so confused 

wonu i'm sorry hoonie

hoon don't say that

wonu i mean it

hoon i know 

hoon i won't forget u, Seungcheol, remember that 

Jihoon placed his phone on his side table before laying down in bed and staring at the ceiling. He didn't know what to say or think. Everything that Seungcheol had told him sounded ridiculous. The mafia. The honest to god mafia. Seungcheol being forced into it. Seungcheol putting an end to this to protect him. This was something that you read about in a crappy fanfiction or watched in an even crappier drama show. There was no way that something like that could happen in real life. Especially not to someone like him. The only explanation was that Wonwoo really did make it all up. And this was his way of shutting the door on Mingyu and Seungcheol for good. "Would you really mess with me like this, Wonwoo-ah?" Jihoon questioned, "Would you really do something like this? You're my friend...I want to give you the benefit of the doubt but this can't be real."

\-------------

3 years, 11 months ago 

Jihoon didn't talk to Seungcheol again after that. He didn't even bring his name up in front of Wonwoo. His friend did the same. Mingyu and Seungcheol were never mentioned. It was almost like they never really existed. It only seemed to prove the validity of Soonyoung's story. Everything about Seungcheol was just a big ruse to make Wonwoo not be the only one pretending to have a boyfriend. Jihoon didn't want to believe it, but there were just too many variables that pointed to that being the truth. It was too much for Jihoon to wrap his head around. And to make matters worse, Wonwoo had called him to inform him about some recent news involving their "significant others". 

"Guess what?" Wonwoo asked in a shy tone.

"What?" Jihoon said.

"I got a call," Wonwoo said.

"Okay," Jihoon said.

"From Mingyu," Wonwoo stated.

"Oh," Jihoon muttered.

"It was an accident," Wonwoo explained, "He butt dialed me, but I overheard his conversation with Seungcheol."

"Seungcheol..." Jihoon murmured.

"Yup, they were talking about us," Wonwoo said.

"Oh...really," Jihoon said.

"Mingyu said that he can't wait for this all to be over so that he can come home to me," Wonwoo said in an excited tone, "He said he has this whole thing planned and he wants to give me a promise ring! A promise ring!"

"That's great, Wonwoo," Jihoon said in an unenthusiastic tone.

"And Seungcheol said he wants to meet you the second he gets back!" Wonwoo exclaimed, "Isn't that great! You two can finally meet! As soon as this whole mafia business is over, everything can go back to normal."

"This was never normal..." Jihoon huffed under his breath.

"What was that?" Wonwoo questions.

"Nothing," Jihoon said quickly, "Just excited to finally meet Seungcheol face to face."

"It'll all work out, Jihoon," Wonwoo said, "You'll see..."

"Yeah..." Jihoon said before ending the call and sticking his phone into his pocket. 

Jihoon felt a pit growing in his stomach then. It was a gaping, dark, endless hole that was yanking at his body. It was from the fact that Seungcheol is still out there. If he was even real. It was because Wonwoo brought Seungcheol and Mingyu back into the picture after months of them being MIA. It was because Jihoon was experiencing so many different emotions at once without an idea of how to handle them. Fear. Loss. Betrayal. All building within him and waiting to burst. 

\-------------

3 years, 5 months ago 

Jihoon pretty much gave up at that point. It was easier to just avoid the topic of Seungcheol and Wonwoo and all that. It was too much for him to piece together. He just imagined it never happened. He was over it. The whole thing involved way too much drama and he just didn't feel up to making sense of it. If Wonwoo actually did make the whole thing up, then he did. Jihoon wasn't going to ask, but it definitely wasn't going to continue. Jihoon is done with Seungcheol. Done with the whole topic. Whether he was real or not, Jihoon didn't want to be involved at all. He had too much pain associated with all of it. It's better to just let it go and move on. But, life is never that easy, especially since Wonwoo wouldn't let him just forget. 

"Jihoon..." Wonwoo said over the phone, his voice cracking.

"Wonwoo? Is everything okay?" Jihoon asked in a concerned tone, "You sound like you've been crying."

"I...I have," Wonwoo stuttered, "H-he's gone..."

"Who?" Jihoon questioned.

"Mingyu," Wonwoo sobbed. Jihoon tensed a bit and fell silent for a second. He couldn't stop the feeling of dread as it creeped up on him. He took a deep breath, trying his best to remain composed. "What happened?" Jihoon asked.

"He FaceTimed me. Mingyu," Wonwoo explained in a shaky voice, crying as he spoke, "I answered, but all I saw was this weird sewer like area and a leg. I heard voices though and I...I heard Mingyu...and then there were gunshots...and the screen went blank and I don't know what to do...what do I do?"

"Calm down," Jihoon said, "I'm sure he's fine.

"There was a gunshot, Jihoon! A gunshot!" Wonwoo exclaimed.

"Mingyu is a tough cookie," Jihoon said, "He wouldn't-,"

"He's still a human, Jihoon!" Wonwoo whines, "He's gone! He isn't coming back! I lost him...I lost him!!!"

Jihoon did his best to comfort Wonwoo, pushing past his own feeling as he tried to console his best friend. He felt bad as Wonwoo blubbered on about accusing the young man for making up Mingyu, but at the same time he didn't. There was something in his gut that made him see this entire situation weird. Wonwoo never once mentioned Seungcheol. His now dead boyfriend's best friend. The one that apparently also joined the mafia. If Mingyu is dead, does that mean Seungcheol is too? He didn't ask. Jihoon shoved his emotions to the side until later. It wasn't until later that night did he let them all out. He cried. Jihoon cried for hours. His face was splotchy and his eyes red. Piles of tissues filled with salty tears and snot scattered around the floor. He cried until he couldn't anymore. Until he was completely numb and forgot even why he had started bawling in the first place. It took him a couple hours to remember that he was crying cause Seungcheol was dead. He was crying because he lost someone he cared for. He was crying for the person that probably didn't even exist. He was crying cause the one good thing in his life was never real to begin with. He was crying because Wonwoo had created this monster. He was crying because Jeon Wonwoo gave him something to love only to rip it away. He was crying because Wonwoo played with his emotions. He was crying cause this feeling of complete betrayal from a childhood friend is too much for anyone to fathom. He's still crying cause he has no idea what the truth is. He still doesn't know if Seungcheol ever was real. 

\-------------

Present Day

Jihoon watches as Wonwoo slurps from his bowl of noodles. His face is blank and he absentmindedly plays with the pendant of his necklace. His mind is clearly elsewhere as he leaves his own bowl of food completely untouched. Soonyoung nudges him from where he sits beside Jihoon and flashes him a curious look. Jihoon shakes his head and shifts in his seat a bit before reaching for his chopsticks. "Hey, Wonwoo..." Jihoon says.

"Yeah?" Wonwoo questions, looking up at the boy.

"Do you remember this necklace?" Jihoon asks.

Wonwoo looks at it and nods his head, "I got it for you as a gift...like what five years ago now?"

"Yeah..." Jihoon murmurs, "Where did you get it from?" 

"I don't remember," Wonwoo says, "I'm surprised you still have it. You usually don't wear necklaces."

"I treasure this one," Jihoon states in a serious tone.

"I'm glad the necklace I got you means so much to you," Wonwoo says, "I'll be right back...I need to go to the bathroom." He gets up from his seat and heads towards the bathroom leaving Jihoon and Soonyoung by themselves. Jihoon shakes his head and grimaces a little, "The necklace Seungcheol gave to me is the one that means a lot to me..." 

"Is that what this is about?" Soonyoung asks.

Jihoon sighs, "Yeah..."

"I thought you were trying to ignore it," Soonyoung says.

"I was," Jihoon says, "It's been five years and I still think about it, Soonyoung. It's driving me crazy. I'm trying to just imagine it never happened but it isn't easy. I found this in my dresser drawer this morning and it all just came back to me. I thought over time it wouldn't hurt so much, but it's still such a touchy subject." 

"I know," Soonyoung says, "But, neither of you or Wonwoo have mentioned it in years."

"That's not true," Jihoon says, "Wonwoo has mentioned Mingyu. Just not Seungcheol." 

"Do you really think that Wonwoo made him up?" Soonyoung asks.

"I don't know," Jihoon huffs, "You were the one to suggest the idea in the first place, why don't you tell me?" He leans back in his chair and crosses his arms over his chest. Soonyoung looks over at him and frowns, hating how much all this is negatively affecting his friend. "I didn't want to create any tension between you and Wonwoo by saying those things back then," Soonyoung says, "You do know that. Right?"

"Of course, I do," Jihoon says, "And there is no tension. We're still friends. Nothing's changed." 

"But, things have," Soonyoung says, "Wonwoo hurt you."

"I don't even know if he hurt me or not," Jihoon exclaims, "I don't know if Seungcheol even existed. I'll never know. I just can't move past this. I can't put this behind me. The fact that I'm still mulling over it now is proof of that. This is something that is going to stick with me for a long time...a really long time..."

"That's cause it really did affect your emotions and your mental state," Soonyoung says, "You felt something with Seungcheol and to even consider that it was all fake...not to mention the possibility of Wonwoo actually lying to you like that. It's something that anyone would carry with them."

Jihoon lets out a breath and slowly nods his head, "But, what can I do about it now? It's in the past."

"You could just ask Wonwoo," Soonyoung says.

"Ask him what?" Jihoon questions, "How would I even go about doing it? Hey, Wonwoo, do you remember Choi Seungcheol? The best friend of your dead boyfriend. He's that guy you said liked me. How come you never mention him? How come it's like he never existed? Does he even exist? Or was I just talking to you for months thinking you were actually this guy named Choi Seungcheol? How do I do that?"

"It's better if you let it out than keep it in," Soonyoung says, "I can see how it's hurting you inside."

"That's an understatement," Jihoon scoffs, "It's killing me. I don't know what's real or not. It all seemed so fake, but I don't want to believe that Wonwoo has lied to me. I don't want to think he's played with my emotions like that. He's been my friend for years and I'm supposed to trust him. I know we were young back then, but there's a line to jokes and that crosses it. I wasn't playing a game back then with Wonwoo. Did he think that I was?"

"I don't know," Soonyoung says, "The only way you'll ever find out is if you ask him yourself."

"I can't," Jihoon states.

"Jihoon..." Soonyoung says.

"I'm too scared," Jihoon murmurs, lowering his head in shame as Soonyoung looks at him with a sad expression on his face. He scoots his seat closer to his friend and wraps his arms around Jihoon, who stays still and tries his hardest to not start bursting into tears. 

\-------------

Later that Night 

Jihoon sits on the ledge of his rooftop, staring at the stars in the sky. His eyes shine a bit with unshed tears. He blinks a couple of times rapidly in an attempt to clear his eyes and not start bawling his eyes out. Jihoon reaches for the pendant lying on his chest and clenches his fingers around it in a tight fist. "Why is it so complicated?" Jihoon asks himself, "Why couldn't it have been a normal set up? Why did it have to be through your phone? Why did you have to give me the things that he wanted to give me? Why didn't you answer my calls? Why didn't you send me pictures? Why didn't you want to meet? Why did you suddenly have to join the mafia? Why did you suddenly die? Why does Wonwoo never mention you? Why am I so scared of the truth when I never was in love with you in the first place? Why am I still being tortured like this?" Jihoon squeezes his eyes shut and lets out a soft whimper. His chest aches a bit and he feels as if he's drowning. He takes a deep breath before tightening his grip even more on his necklace and yanking hard. The chain snaps and Jihoon slowly opens his hand. He stares down at the pendant as a tear trickles down his cheek. He wipes at his eyes with his sleeve and blinks a couple of times to clear his blurry vision. Jihoon grabs the necklace by the chain and dangles it over the edge of the roof. He watches as the wind blows the piece of jewelry making it rock back and forth. His expression remains neutral as he releases the necklace and watches as it plummets to the floor. There's a small clanking sound as the metal pendant touches the concrete and echoes down the quiet alleyway. Jihoon peeks down and stares at the miniscule necklace down below. "I don't know if I even want you to be real, Choi Seungcheol," Jihoon says, his eyes remaining locked on the piece of jewelry lying on the floor a tad bit dented from the fall.

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, I just can't write a Jicheol story where they end up together. This one is painful in a different way compared to the other two, but still. My Jicheol lovers are crying, wondering why I keep doing these two dirty. Let me tell you, I'm sobbing alongside you. I don't know why I keep writing one-shots like these, but I still hope that you enjoyed it. If you did please leave a comment, vote, follow me, add this story to your library, and check out my other Jicheol one-shots in this book. I hope you all have a wonderful rest of your day!


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